You’re Not Alone: “Someday” Is Not a Day of the Week

It’s the holiday season, and I didn’t want the year to end without a reminder about building your own legacy program.

For years, before we lost my mother to Alzheimer’s disease and, two years later, my father at 93, I repeatedly thought, Someday I need to sit them down with all the old photographs and get the stories behind them. Well, like so many of you who have said the same thing, I never got around to it.

We have albums and boxes of old photographs and rarely know who’s in them or the backstories that brought the subjects together. I procrastinated too long and missed the opportunity.

Even with my mom’s Alzheimer’s, her oldest memories were the last to go. I’ve written before about how looking at old photographs was one of the activities we enjoyed the most. Wandering down memory lane brought joy into our lives at a time when happiness was being challenged every day.

It’s December and the holiday season, and my point in today’s post isn’t just about Alzheimer’s. It’s about everyone who has older family members nearing the end of life’s journey. Being together during the holidays is the perfect opportunity to capture the stories that go along with those albums and shoeboxes of photographs.

Building a Legacy Program

Your gear: This one is easy — all you need is your phone.

Your “staff”: This is a family project, and you don’t have to do it alone. If you have kids, give them the assignment of capturing stories. Even a 10-year-old today knows how to hit the record button on a phone.

Gather materials: Pull out those old albums and boxes of prints. You want everything accessible during the time you’ll have to capture the stories.

Post-it notes: Don’t forget a supply so you can write down names of the people in the pictures, if desired.

Write your script: Relax — this doesn’t have to be a Broadway production. All you need is a short list of questions to help get things started. For demonstration purposes, let’s assume you’re interviewing a grandmother. The possibilities are endless:

• How did you meet Grandpa?
• What was the most embarrassing thing he ever did?
• What was the funniest thing he ever did?
• Who were your best friends in high school?
• What was your first job, and how much did you get paid?

Hit record: It’s easy to do, but it does take time and focus.

Here’s one more example of my frustration. The photograph below was in my grandmother’s album, but we have no idea who these people are or why the photo was taken. Even more frustrating, no one else in our family recognized this group either. All I know is that it was most likely taken in Ohio, where my grandmother grew up.

Don’t let time slip by. Take time this holiday season to set up a camera or phone and sit down with your parents and grandparents. Document their conversations about growing up, their friends and their experiences. And if you’re stuck on what to talk about, just pull out those old photographs, sit back and let them do the talking.

Don’t let “someday” become a day of the week. We all procrastinate, but even if Alzheimer’s isn’t part of the battle you’re facing right now, don’t wait until it’s too late to capture those stories from memory lane.

If you or a loved one need help this holiday season, call the Alzheimer’s Association 24/7 Helpline at 800.272.3900 or visit alz.org.